In Constant Flux

Havasupai 2010

2010-11-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

2010-07-01T19:02:00.003-06:00

I can. Fingers crossed.

2010-07-01T19:02:00.001-06:00

I decided to try to get with the times. I guess this technology stuff really is going to stick around. So, I am posting from my cell phone just to see if

2010-07-01T18:54:00.003-06:00

I can. Fingers crossed.

2010-07-01T18:54:00.001-06:00

I decided to try to get with the times. I guess this technology stuff really is going to stick around. So, I am posting from my cell phone just to see if

Two-ish months in the making

2010-05-06T17:10:00.000-06:00

Remember that life-changing experience I told you about? Remember? This one? Well, I can't say the entire experience has completely ended, but enough has happened that I feel I can adequately tell the story.

So, without putting it off any further, I present it to you now.

Right after I go get a sandwich or something. Hold on.

Okay. Here we go.

About two months ago, or so, it was Thursday. Thursday is an important day. It's the day where I rearrange everything going on that day so I can hang out with my family. (Let me translate: hang out with family = free lunch) So you see, Thursday is a very important day.

We all meet at Grandma's place. She only lives a mile or so from where we live. I had planned on just riding my bike over there. I can get there in about 4 minutes on my bike. I timed it once. Anyways, I pulled my bike out and learned that I had a flat tire (I'll have you know it was the first flat tire I had had in nearly 600 miles). I had ridden with Whitey on Saturday and apparently there were some goat-heads on the path we took. And of course, I had no spare. So, I jumped in the Honda Pilot and headed to Grandma's. The car choice will be important later in the story. Be patient.

Let me tell you something about "cyclists." We all like to look at other "cyclist's" gear. I don't think it is out of envy or that we want to think our stuff is better, we just like to see what everyone else uses. At least that is what I do. So, on my way to Grandma's, I see a guy on a bike way ahead of me. I didn't speed or anything, but at a red light, I caught up to him.

He was riding a Scott bike. Black and yellow. Very nice.

But something seemed wrong. He unclipped both feet from the pedals and his body was shaking violently. He clumsily walked his bike to the sidewalk. I was concerned. I turned on my emergency flashers and got out to see if he was okay. All he could tell me was "cold." I asked him if I could give him a ride. He said no and held up two fingers. I asked if that meant he was only two blocks from home, and he nodded. Up to this point, I just assumed he didn't speak much English.

The light turned green and he took off. I was still worried, so I decided I would follow him to make sure he made it home safe. It might seem a bit creepy, but I've been in situations like this before and it would have made me feel better. He made it a couple of blocks and he stopped again. He was still trembling. I pulled up behind him and when he saw me, he just shrugged. I got out and grabbed his bike and loaded it into the back of the Pilot. (This is the part in the story where the car choice is important)

While I was grabbing his bike, one of these beauties rode by. I'm not sure if this counts as "gear" that I could check out as a "cyclist", but I did anyways.

And yes, it had all-terrain tires.

He climbed in and I turned on the heater.

Then he told me the life-changing part. The part that made me realize how truly pathetic I am. The part that will cause introspection for the rest of my life.

He said "stroke." He was a stroke survivor. He was cold for two reasons. First is that the entire right side of his body was essentially paralyzed and had a hard time regulating temperature. Second is because he had just ridden up and down Emigration Canyon.

From saltlakecycling.com

A little math: paralyzed right side=one good leg for pedaling. Ergo, he rode up Emigration Canyon with one leg. I am still amazed. And I feel completely and utterly weak.

He gave me directions to his house. I unloaded his bike, met his two dogs Fred and Rex and went on my way. On the way back to Grandma's, I realized I never even asked his name.

So, I stalked him. Just a little. I wrote him a note with my email and phone number to make sure he was okay and to introduce myself. I left in on his door and hoped I would hear from him.

The next morning I had an email from his wife. We'll say her name is Becky. She said thank you and suggested her husband, we'll call him Dave, and I go ride together sometime.

So, the planning craziness began. At that time, the only time I really had available was Wednesday mornings. He usually had that time free as well, so it shouldn't have been a problem. But then spring in Utah hit. Weekends were nice, Wednesdays were always cold and wet. For weeks on end.

Finally, yesterday, May 5th, we made it happen. We rode about 20 miles from his house to the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon and back. It was fun. I learned a little bit more about him and his story. He used to race downhill mountain bikes. Yeah, the crazy ones. He used to win, too. He showed me his medals.

Then, 4 years ago, he had a stroke. For several days, the doctors were certain he would die. He didn't. Now he rides a road bike. No small feat after such a thing.

And how was the ride? I'll put it quite simply:

He whooped my butt. With one leg. I need to train. A lot.

His bike has been rigged so he can use it. All of the shifters are on the left side. He has no rear brake because his right hand can't squeeze. He attaches his right hand to the bike with velcro to keep it slipping off the handlebars.

I will forever be thankful to him. He has truly opened my eyes and allowed me to see the human potential. He is much stronger than I think I will ever be, but it gives me something to strive towards. I hope we ride again soon.

He is certainly a hero to many who know him, including me.

I'm Sorry

2010-04-20T15:12:00.000-06:00

I know that it has been a while since I have last posted. I did it a little bit on purpose. You see, I had this awesome life-changing experience that I wanted to tell all three of you about, but the whole experience hasn't ended yet. It has taken a bit longer than expected. Don't worry, though. You will be the first to hear the whole story. So until then, I know it will drive you crazy just constantly thinking about what possibly could have changed my life. I'll give you a hint: it was a person I met. I can't tell you any more.

I will post this funny little video for you, though. Like I said, it's funny.

I am Fickle

2010-03-22T15:02:00.000-06:00

I really am. Ask anyone who really knows me, especially Aim or my mother. I grab hobbies like Dean Martin grabs women. The real problem with my hobbies, however, seems to be expense.

Here are a couple of examples:

I have always loved camping of all sorts. I love car camping for things like canyoneering or just a weekend out with the family. I love backpacking to get back into places you can't get to otherwise. As a kid, we had a pop-up trailer that I also greatly enjoyed because it allows you to be outdoors with a little slice of home comfort.

When I got home from Mexico and moved out on my own and got married, etc., I realized that I had very little camping gear of my own. So, I bought some. Not all at once, but slowly. I thought I was smart. If I buy things slowly, Aimee won't really realize how much money I am actually spending. Well, it turns out that Aimee is smarter than I am. Plus, she works with small children who try to pull the once over on her on a daily basis. So, it turns out that camping is expensive. (But, that hasn't stopped me from doing it and convincing Aimee to take me here.)

When we got married, the in-laws lived up in Idaho. We would make fairly frequent trips to visit, all while enjoying lovely books on tape. (On a side note, ask Aimee how much she loves the guy who reads the book.) One thing I did not know about Aimee's dad when we got married is his love for cycling. I can't think of a time before Idaho that I had ever even seen a bike at their house, and believe me, I spent a lot of time at their house. Anyways, we visited the Idahome once and good ol' Father-In-Law had just bought a fancy new road bike. And, much to Aimee's chagrin, he suggested I take it for a spin up the road. Now Aimee, who has some foresight, knew exactly what was coming.

When I got back to the house, I needed a road bike. So, I bought one. It was fancy. And expensive. Even though I got $1000 off. So far, I still love it. (The Father-In-Law and I will be riding across Iowa this summer.)

So, to make the above long story short, I like to collect hobbies. I like to think of it like the late, great Aldo Leopold does:

"You do not annex hobby, the hobby annexes you."

See, there it is. It's not my fault. I was chosen.

Sometimes, I like to be annexed by a hobby and then later on down the road be un-annexed by it. I still don't think its my fault. Blame the hobby.

As a reward for reading my ramblings, watch this and giggle.

P.S. To be continued...

Ride a Bike

2010-03-10T12:26:00.001-07:00

Or take the bus. Why? Because it will save us all. Seriously.

Don't get me wrong, I also appreciate cars. I own (or am in the several-year process of owning) two of them. They are great for a lot of different things. For example, it would have been quite difficult and I would likely have looked a bit silly transporting a large piece of furniture that we just acquired on my bicycle. I also understand that it is not a lot of fun to ride a bike in bad weather.

However, my opinion is that most of us are just plain lazy. Sorry. It hurts me just as much as I am sure it hurts you to hear it. I am lazy. You are lazy. And if you truly believe you aren't, please let me know, with accompanying evidence, and I will issue a personal apology to you via this blog.

I say this because not being lazy generally hurts in one form or another and I am a firm believer that no one actually enjoys pain. (I won't get into any of that freaky stuff. Just accept my statement as a general assumption.) However, I am sure that most people like the results that pain often brings after the fact.

But, can't things like riding your bike also be fun? I submit that they can. I love riding my bike. There is a true sense of control and freedom that I get when I ride. And, if you push hard through the pain to get to the top of the hill, you get to go back down. Down=fun. So why don't we make our commute fun by actually being involved in the process?

I found this video on another great blog, and I just love it. You probably won't, but watch it anyway. And after you do, find a way to enjoy your commute.

And I will have you know that this video proved last night that I have in fact had some effect on Aimee in the last three years. When asked if she recognized the sound from this video, she immediately identified it as Phil Liggett, the TDF announcer. I fell in love all over again.

The Tides are Changing

2010-03-05T15:25:00.003-07:00

At least that is what my newest watch tells me.

But in a metaphorical sense, they are as well. Already, this year is one that will go in the record books (also metaphorical) for Aimee and I. I can't really get into all of the things that have been happening quite yet, but I do believe things are looking up.

One thing I will tell you about is a piece of paper I received in a cardboard envelope: my diploma from the University of Utah. It is a strange thing that a piece of paper with a stamped-on signature is what holds my place in society. It is also quite depressing to know that the stamped piece of paper cost me thousands of dollars and four years of "work." My diploma says nothing about how much I actually know, but people are willing to give me a job based only on the fact that I have one. It truly is a strange world.

However, I'm not all cynical. That diploma earned me a much anticipated trip to Havasupai with some of the most pleasant people I know (thanks Aim). So, in fact, it is good for something.

Keep watching the tides. I'm sure there are more changes coming.

My Last First Day of School...Kinda

2009-08-28T13:37:00.005-06:00

Wednesday I spoke to my college advisor and it is now official: I'm graduating at the end of this semester. What feels an absolute eternity in school has actually only been four years. But, a lot can happen in four years. So, now I'm frantically searching for some place to go for grad school. I have a couple of options so far, but I have no idea what will happen. I'm sure I'll end up in the right place.

In other news, yours truly is presenting some of his research at the one and only Rocky Mountain Conference of Parasitologists in Moran, Wyoming. Yep, I spent my summer doing research on pigeon lice. Are you jealous? It's a pretty exciting thing though and I must thank Dale (my boss at the lab) for footing the bill to let me go. This conference will let me graduate with an undergraduate research scholar designation which should look good on grad school applications. Here's a lovely picture of the little box I have spent countless hours in.

I'm taking Aim with me and we are going to spend an extra night in Yellowstone and see the sights up there. I can't wait.

Doesn't that just look great? And yes, that is a paint shaker attached to the counter. It is a high tech device used for getting lice off of birds. The details are a bit messy though.

That's it for now. I'll let you all know how the conference goes. I'm a bit nervous/intimidated to speak in front of experts and pretend I know what I'm talking about, but here goes.

P.S. I have no idea why the first two paragraphs are a link to that picture, and I can't figure out how to make it go away.

It has been a while.

2009-07-13T20:42:00.002-06:00

So, I haven't posted since April 24, 2009 and I didn't really think much had happened in my life since then, but Aimee let me know that I am losing my mind.

So, some of the things that I have done since April 24:

Aimee graduated from college with a degree in elementary education, which I think is freaking awesome.

The day after her graduation, I left on a two week ornithology trip for school. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a ton, but it was a long time to be gone. This trip did help to solidify my desire to have a job where I can do work in the field.

I surprised Aimee with a trip to Arizona to spend a week with Allison while I was gone. I think she had a good time (you'd have to ask her though).

I was anxious to get home because for my birthday Aimee had bought me a puppy (see previous posts). Aimee surprised me by going and picking her up before I got there. Our dog is a Siberian Husky and we went with the name Nova. She is a lot of fun and is certainly a handful. Aimee is a saint for taking care of her all day while I'm at work and at school and then at work again.

Then Summer started. I am taking an applied statistics class on top of working two jobs, so needless to say, I am busy. My mornings usually start early with class, then to work at the lab, then to work at security. I don't get to be home much, which sucks, but hopefully things will slow down a bit in the fall.

I also will be graduating in December of this year. I didn't think it would happen this fast, but here we go. I'm getting a little bit stressed out about finding a graduate school and not knowing where we will be for the next few years, but I guess that's part of the adventure of life, right? I have been looking around and have a few places that I wouldn't mind being, but it is still pretty up in the air.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'm sure there are other things going on, but I can't think of them at the moment. Sorry for the lack of photos, I just got a new computer and don't have any on here yet. Hopefully I'll have some for future posts--stay tuned.

What's in a Name?

2009-04-24T19:00:00.003-06:00

To all three of you people who read this, I need help. As both Aimee and I have told you, we are getting a puppy in a few short weeks. The problem is we can't decide on a name. So, I am wondering what your opinion is. Which of these is your favorite? Second favorite? Hate?

Nova (I like this one, but I'm worried it will sound too much like "NO." What do you think?)

Suka

Mika (pronounced meeka)

Skaya (From siberskaya laika, which is Russion for Siberian husky. Not sure if I spelled that right.)

Nukilik (pronounced new-key-leak)

Yakone

Any opinions out there?

We are hoping to go see her tomorrow morning. Maybe we'll just know when we see her? I can't wait to finally get to play with her a little bit. So excited. A bit nervous.

Nova

2009-03-31T20:07:00.006-06:00

So, Aimee already spilled the beans, but I wanted to tell you about it too.

About a week ago Aimee surprised me, and I mean really surprised me when she told me she wanted to buy me a puppy for my birthday. I was seriously shocked. So, we were looking on KSL and found some brand new puppies in Stansbury Park so we decided to go see them and meet the parents. Dad is a red and white husky with bright blue eyes. His name is Sisco. Mom is a pure white husky with bright blue eyes. Her name is Sky. The two are probably in the top five most beautiful and mild-tempered dogs I have ever met.

So, we bought one. A girl. We are naming her Nova. She comes home in May. Today she is one week old. I don't sleep because I am so excited. I think I am neurotic. This will certainly be the best birthday ever. Here are some pictures:

Nova is the one right in the middle with her head facing to the right. Her head is on the back of the pup on the far right.

This is one of the puppies from a previous litter of the same parents. They say that all of the puppies they have had are red with blue eyes. This one is about 4 months old.

And this is one of the pups from a previous litter as well. Here he is about 7 weeks or so. This will be about what ours looks like right when we get her.

So, thanks again a million to Aimee for being the best wife ever. I know that I am crazy, but I don't mind. Can't wait!!

Dancing Kim Just Stole My Heart

2009-01-20T19:29:00.002-07:00

If you don't seriously enjoy this video, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

En-Freaking-Joy!!!

I hope this makes up for my quite long blogging absence.

The Misses

2008-11-28T01:27:00.002-07:00

Well, I know I have been horrible at posting on here (its been two months and nine days). I'm not entirely sure anyone reads it besides my wife, but hey, its like a journal I suppose.

So, this post goes out to possibly my only blog follower: Mrs. Aimee Sharon Hemmelgarn Smith.

I don't think I tell Aimee enough how awesome she is. Right now it is one thirty in the morning and she is at work selling baby clothes to crazy people so I get a minute to talk about her.

First of all, she is a teacher. Not just any teacher, mind you, but an elementary school teacher, a.k.a. saint. I was reading her blog and I watched the video on there and couldn't help but think how true that is. I don't know how Aimee has the patience to be with dozens of eight year olds for hours at a time. I get tired of a few minutes with kids, but she loves it. For this reason I am convinced that my wife will be the all time greatest mother. I have a lot to learn from her in the parenting department, I'm sure.

Secondly, I work until eleven o'clock every night followed by a forty minute drive home. I obviously get home quite late. However, Aimee has to get up at near the butt-crack of dawn to go inspire young minds (see above paragraph). Even though she knows she is missing out on one of her favorite things: sleep, she still will stay awake with me and listen to me whine about my pathetic job and how anal I am about school. I don't think anyone has been so willing to sacrifice their sleep just to hang out with me. (My mom always would wait up for me and we would talk when I got home, but I think she would have rather been sleeping.) So, night upon night she gets something like 5 hours and change of sleep and its all my fault.

Thirdly, I'm neurotic. I change my mind pretty much every fifteen seconds. I am not talking about with small decisions like what flavor of ice cream to order, either. I am talking about what I am going to do with my life and where in the world I am going to drag our little family. In fact, Aimee said she would be willing to go to Fairbanks, Alaska with me to graduate school where the average daytime high in January is -2 degrees Fahrenheit. Simply put, Aimee is from Arizona and that she would say something like that means a lot to me. Since we were married I have probably changed my mind a dozen times. For now, I think I'm pretty sure about what's going on, but we'll see.

This certainly is not a comprehensive list and I could probably go on and on and on and on and on. For those of you who know Aimee like I do, you will agree that she is awesome.

Beaner, I love you and thank you for everything!

A Crazy Fun Thing on a Whim

2008-09-19T20:18:00.006-06:00

So, I'm hometeaching for the first time in the new ward, and after we're done, we are making the rounds about the neighborhood. Apparently my companion is quite the social butterfly. We stopped at a neighbors house and they start talking about this triathlon they are doing the next weekend. So, my interest is peaked and I decide, what the heck, I can do it. So, last minute registrations and goggle buying and here we go.

I think it is a bit of an understatement to say I was kind of nervous. The only training I had was on my bike, so I was not worried about the bike part. I hadn't been in a pool for months and none of that was lap swimming.

They call this one a beginner triathlon. It's in reverse order and its a one and a half mile run, 10 k bike ride and 200 yard swim. I ran the mile and a half one time before the actual race. Bro. Allen let me run with him during the race, so I felt like I had someone to pace myself off of. My home teaching companion was gone. We didn't see him the rest of the race.

I felt pretty good when I had actually finished the run and never had to walk. I was about middle of the pack so not bad. I was looking forward to the bike section the most because I knew it would be my best part. I got a great start. The entire 6.2 miles, I only got passed twice, but passed a lot of other people. The first person to pass me was an old man, which is a bit of a morale killer, but he obviously knew what he was doing because he didn't just pass me, he blew by me. The next time I got passed was a couple of girls. I tried not to focus on them and just kept peddling the same speed. They only got about 10 feet in front of me then I caught back up. You can see them a ways behind me in the next picture.

I finished the bike with flying colors and on to the drowning.

Like I mentioned, I haven't been in a pool much. I dove in and did about 3 strokes of freestyle and thought I was going to die. I promptly started into the breaststroke. The rest of the 8 laps were spent flopping back and forth from breaststroke to some weird hybrid craziness on my back because I couldn't breathe.

Luckily, I didn't drown. I did have to stop swimming and ask Aimee if I had done enough laps cause I apparently forgot mid swim.
This picture is Aimee's favorite. She already has it on her blog, but I figured what the hey.

After the race, I'm watching the board and I'm waiting and waiting and I never see my name go up. Finally It comes up and it says I'm listed 15 out of 18. I was a bit bummed, but I figured I hadn't done any training so it's not all bad. After the shindig, I went to look at the board and they had put my name in the wrong place. I actually finished 8 out of 18 in my age group and 18th overall. I was pretty proud of myself.

Of course I didn't win anything in the drawing because no one in my family can possibly win at drawings unless it is my dad and that is a guaranteed grand prize. But, I'm glad I didn't drown and now I look forward to actually training and doing another one.

Summertime, Summertime, Sum Sum Summertime...

2008-08-18T20:40:00.007-06:00

Wow, where to start. This has been a whirlwind summer of academic overwhelming. The end of this summer officially marks 5 semesters of non-stop class-taking. That equals almost two years with almost no time off. I feel that next summer will be reserved for avoiding classes at all costs.

I am proud to say, however, that I survived Organic Chemistry II. I actually did quite a bit better than I expected.

I also was accepted into the Bioscience Ungergraduate Research Program which should be an adventure in and of itself. I'm sure there will be more about that in the future.

Right now I have a week off until fall semester starts, but during that week I am writing lab reports from the last two weeks. I am up to about 35 pages so far and just a couple more to go. Not too shabby, eh?

This summer has also been a re-awakening of sorts as to what I want to do with my life. After lab one day I was standing around talking to Dr. Gray and a few classmates and we were discussing all of the hoops one has to jump through to get into medical school. Now, for those of you who don't remember (or didn't know in the first place), after much internal struggle I had finally made up my mind that I actually didn't want to go to medical school and wanted to get a Ph.D. in biology instead. Well, all the talk about med school after class made me second guess my previous decision and I began to panic. This was not just a little panic either. I mean I was on the verge of breakdown.

So, after class I pulled out my computer and began looking at different medical schools and comparing them to graduate schools and trying to figure out what my life had in store for me. I said some little prayers to see if I could get a hold of myself. Well, my prayers were answered and I decided that I had, in fact, made the right decision to pursue the degree in biology. Crisis averted.

Now I started panicking because I really don't have much time to get ready to start taking GREs and applying to different schools so I set out to find my schools of choice. And, after much deliberation, I found my dream school.

You may recognize this little building from a film called "Good Will Hunting." If not, it is the dome of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I'm not entirely sure if this little dream is realistic, but I'm going to try anyway. My GPA is good enough, so we'll see if they like me. Of course there are some other little schools I would like to apply for such as Harvard, Yale, UC San Diego, among others, but there's always a preference, right?

So, the next year will be devoted to obsessing over a little school called MIT and probably trying to kiss up to whoever I can to try to make it happen. Wish me luck!

On another note: I saw the Declaration of Independence this weekend and it was awesome.

Pictures

2008-08-01T16:42:00.018-06:00

So, July 31 I had not much to do while I was at work. The first three hours I just had to sit and watch one door on the outside of the Museum of Fine Arts so I decided I would take my camera and take some pictures. I took a lot of pictures that day, but here are a few of my favorites.

Let me know what you think.

First time in 9 years.

2008-07-12T14:02:00.003-06:00

This morning bright and early we got up to go for a ride. Aimee hasn't been on a bike since she "had a bad experience" when she was 14. I'm super proud of her though. Last night she and I rode about seven miles and today the group did eleven. So 18 miles in less than 24 hours. Nice job Beaner!
There were some funny things of course. Aimee's bike was way too big so she couldn't touch the ground. Thomas (on the very left of the picture) stopped without taking his foot out of the clip and fell right over. I almost did the same thing and almost took Aimee down with me but luckily I got my foot out just in the nick of time.
After the eleven miles, Jory, Steve and I felt like we could do a bit more. We took off up around the new daybreak temple. We had a couple of good climbs and an awesome downhill. A mini-van with a poodle in the front seat almost turned right into us. Steve lost his hex wrenches out of his saddle bad and they survived after being run over several times. But after all was said and done the three of us did almost 23 miles today.

It was a great morning.

So now, for at least a moment, I am on the top of Jess's list. Take that.

Slickhorn Canyon

2008-05-27T22:08:00.019-06:00

Memorial day weekend was spent backpacking in Slickhorn canyon in southeastern Utah in Cedar mesa. I suppose I'll just mostly let the pictures speak. (For some reason, all of these pictures are in backwards order. Sorry.)

One last look down the canyon

Some of the treachery we met on the way out.

It almost felt like bushwhacking through the jungle at times.

The cacti were in bloom everywhere. It was beautiful.

Mother's Day '08/Idahome

2008-05-12T12:47:00.013-06:00

So this weekend, we took what could possibly be our last drive to Boise to visit the Hemmelgarns. For those who didn't know, they are moving back to Utah. It is about time, I say. So, we took some pictures of the mother's day stuff, some family pics, and some of the memorable things about the drive to Boise that we have taken countless times.

This is classic Lydia.

When you can get a picture of Erin not scowling, you need to take advantage of the opportunity.

Shanna looks amazing. This is one of my favorites from the trip.

HAMMETT!!!

This is my beautiful wife Aimee enjoying the ride home. Probably singing to Queen and the Eagles. Love it.

I'm going to miss those trips to Boise, but Hemmelgarns, welcome back to Utah.

Ugh.

2008-04-28T23:47:00.003-06:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A name in a book. My middle name came from my grandpa's middle name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 years, 3 months, 4 days and 18 minutes. I have no idea. Actually, it was when I found out I wasn't going to be able to go climb mount Shasta this summer. One of the worst days of my life.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? not really

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? HAM. thinly sliced preferably.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not at the moment.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'm a weirdy. I'll leave it at that.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I would never.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Sure does.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Probably. especially if someone else payed for it.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? GRANOLA period. most of the time I eat marshmallow mateys cause they're more affordable.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes, unless they are my church shoes which for some reason I don't find the need to.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla is the greatest.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? I really don't know. I think it depends on the person.

15. RED OR PINK? Red. Pink is for girls.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My fingernails.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Some of my friends from Mexico probably.

18, what the heck is 18 anyway? shut up with the 18.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Just jeans, no shoes. I was wearing my chacos though.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Two big steaks then Reese's ice cream from Baskin Robbins.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Aimee laughing at America's funniest home videos. A baby had a noodle coming out of its nose. you would laugh too.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green. I'm a tree hugger.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Right when it starts raining, you know the slightly wet dust smell, and freshly cut grass.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Aimee is probably the only person I talk to on the phone besides my mom.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU? Sure do.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Soccer. Is Man Vs. Wild a sport?

27. HAIR COLOR? brown, like light poop.

28. EYE COLOR? You'll have to ask Aimee cause apparently I have no idea.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I have a slight phobia of touching my eye and if I did, I would really only need one.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Rice.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings. I'm kind of a wuss.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Transformers. its more than meets the eye.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? blue, brown, tan, yellow, cream, red, maroon. its kinda plaid.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter mostly. A summer day here and there is okay.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? big sloppy wet kisses.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Peach cobbler. Yum.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? No Shortcuts to the Top.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My finger. Its one of those touch mouse pad things.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Iron Chef.

42. FAVORITE MUSIC? I'm liking bluegrass right now. Love that banjo.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Southern Mexico.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm just a little good at a lot of things.

I don't tag anyone. The tag stops here. I break the chain. Ha.

Lots of Travel

2008-03-20T23:18:00.002-06:00

So, this spring break has been fun. We went to Disneyland on Friday, and Sea World on Saturday. After Sea World we drove all night to Phoenix to spend a few days in the hellish heat. Hiking was good though (thanks Allison). My flight arrived in Salt Lake last night and I had to work and do some homework today. Lame. Meanwhile, Aimee flew to Idaho to be with her mom. So, tomorrow I get to have a long, lonely drive to Boise in the middle of the night. It'll be fun though. I always love seeing the in-laws. Home has been pretty boring all by myself, but I'm easy to entertain. Anyways, pictures of the trips will be coming soon.

The Lorax

2008-03-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

Today I helped plant 2000 trees. It felt good to help. I'm tired.

A Perfect Song

2008-01-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

I was walking to the bus stop this morning on my way to school and this song came on my ipod. I don't think there is a more perfect song for describing today and what it feels like to me. God Bless!

Snow by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband

it was just snow soft and white
it was just snow falling so light
it was just snow soft and white
falling so light,
falling last night

no it wasn’t a lightning storm
ripping leaves and
the limbs off of trees
and it wasn’t a massive earthquake
the earth buckling from beneath

because he wasn’t quite that sad
and he wasn’t quite that mad
but his messenger died yesterday
and he wanted us to know

so it was just snow soft and white
it was just snow falling so light
it was just snow soft and white
falling so light,
falling last night

no it wasn’t a giant tidal wave
drowning every man
woman and child
and it wasn’t a huge hurricane
wind and rain whipping
‘round us so wild

because he wasn’t quite that sad
and he wasn’t quite that mad
but his messenger died yesterday
and he wanted us to know

so it was just snow soft and white
it was just snow falling so light
it was just snow soft and white
falling so light,
falling last night

No time

2008-01-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a while. I don't have much time right now either. I'm at work. And, I have a chemistry quiz tomorrow that I have to study for. It's already kicking my trash. Gotta run.

Bandits

2007-12-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

Why the title, you ask? Well, it's because this year I made out like a bandit and it was totally unexpected. It wasn't just in the temporal gift section either. Of course I got some great things like a new sleeping bag from my awesome in laws, a book I'm very excited to read from Jory, some Chacos from Aim, and a fun game called Killer Bunnies, among some other great stuff. I really just feel good about the weekend I had. It was very relaxing, away from stresses of school and work and just good times with my new family. One of my favorite moments of the weekend was while I was simply sitting and reading. Of course, I wasn't terribly focused on my book. There was so much going on that I would just look around and mentally take part in everyone else's doings. Lydia and Steve were working diligently on a large, motorized knex lawnmower, Erin was bouncing all over from sitting at the computer to writing in her notebook to joining in on conversations to playing the piano. Jory, Aimee and Shanna were engaged in a conversation that bounced around almost as much as Erin, but was generally focused on books and literary things. I just sat and observed. It was great. Everyone was beautifully happy and comfortable.

It is always interesting for me to stay with the Hemmelgarns because I get to see the way they do things. As I child, for example, I had very different interests and hobbies than they do. I was always outside playing basketball or climbing in the tree house or just getting into trouble. The
Hemmelgarns on the other hand have very different hobbies. I watched as Lydia and Erin, instead of going outside and wreaking havoc everywhere like me, sat at the computer, or a notebook and wrote stories. Just for fun. I don't think I ever would have even thought of doing that as I child. I think it is absolutely wonderful. While I played simply to play, they play and explore and learn in one fell swoop. Their love for all things literature is very inspiring to me. There is no limit to what one can learn from books.

Break

2007-12-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

School is finally out for Christmas break and boy am I glad. It's nice to just finally have a little breather before jumping right back into it again. I have still been busy, don't get me wrong. I come to the lab in the morning and stay here until three when I go to work until 11 and then go home and go to bed just to get up in the morning and start over. Today, however, is a bit different. Jory, Aimee, and I will be taking another trek up to the Idaho to have some quality family togetherness time. While I am super excited to spend Christmas in Idaho, it will be a bit strange. This will be the first year (besides my mission) that I don't spend Christmas with my family. I guess that is part of growing up and getting married and all that jazz, but it is still a bit hard. I truly am super excited to spend Christmas in Idaho. I can't wait to see Lydia and Erin open their presents. After all, they are my family too, and I seriously love every single one of them. It will just be a little different.

Merry Christmas.

Finals! No fun!

2007-12-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

I've been on campus since 6:45 a.m. today. It's now 5:16 p.m. today. I have been studying chemistry since 8:30 a.m. today with only a little break to get a burger with Aim. My brain is tired, my body is tired. Who invented finals? I understand the idea of it, but holy cow, its a bit overwhelming.

Oh here we go

2007-11-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:

1. Still getting over moving to American Fork
2. Growing weird things all over my body such as oily zits and hair in the nether region
3. Making out after school with anyone who was willing
4. Trying my luck at tackle football (can you even imagine?)
5. Spending too much time with Josh and Landon in the hollow.

5 things I was doing 5 years ago:

1. Getting ready to graduate high school.
2. Thinking I was the shiznit for being a professional cheerleader
3. Working at the pool
4. Cheering and playing soccer
5. Wasting a lot of time doing absolutely nothing at Aimee's house

5 things I was doing 1 year ago:

1. One year ago today I was getting a shot of morphine right in the butt for my mesenteric adenitis and spending all day in the ER. Good times.
2. Giving Tyler a bloody nose in priesthood. He's a bleeder.
3. Gettin engaged.
4. Workin at securealert. yay
5. Getting home from Mehico. (That one probably should have been #1)

5 jobs I've had:

1. Boy Scout camp (the best job ever)
2. Lifeguard
3. Cheerleader
4. Valet
5. Security Guard

5 things I did yesterday:

1. Got up early
2. Went to school
3. Went to work
4. Did math homework while at work
5. Sleep around midnight

5 snacks I enjoy:

1. Fruit snacks (duh)
2. Anything gummi
3. Dr. Pepper
4. Quesadillas
5. Licorice

5 things I'd do with a million bucks:

1. Buy a freaking house. Nothing big, just a house.
2. Climb Mt. Everest.
3. Travel as much as possible.
4. Pay for school.
5. Invest.

5 things I hate doing:

1. Writing papers for school.
2. Anything to do with eyeballs.
3. Confrontation.
4. Being hot.
5. Talking to people I don't like.

5 TV shows I enjoy:

1. Man vs. Wild
2. Everest: beyond the limit.
3. Mythbusters.
4. Planet Earth.
5. The Office.

5 biggest joys:

1. Aimee.
2. Nature.
3. Being in nature.
4. Freedom.
5. Family

5 people I tag:

whomever

2007-11-13T13:19:00.001-07:00

So, I decided I am going to climb a few mountains. For some reason it just calls to me. It's what I daydream about (and sometimes night dream too). It should begin for real this next summer when I make an attempt at summiting Mount Shasta in California. Then next fall I will begin raising money to climb Gannett Peak (Wyoming's tallest) for a charity called Big City Mountaineers. So, all you readers save some money to contribute eh? I don't know why this seems so important to me but it feels like something that I need to do. Notice the word need and not want. Of course I want to, but it feels deeper than that. I really can't explain it. There is something about standing on top of a mountain that just makes you feel so important and so meaningless all at the same time. It is a great achievement, but an extremely humbling experience. I can't wait.

On another note I'm getting ready for this semester to end. Finally! Hopefully next semester should be a little more fun because I will actually be taking classes that interest me. Someday school will end. I don't know when, but someday.

All Hallows Eve

2007-10-31T23:35:00.000-06:00

Today I decided that I really like Halloween. It's not because I enjoy dressing up or because of the candy, though. I like Halloween because for one day out of a year, no one cares how you dress or what you look like. It's actually good to be different and stand out. Why can't it be that way every day? Why do people care how you dress on any other Wednesday of the year?

2007-10-25T20:08:00.001-06:00

Cars Suck!

That's all I have to say.

Night at the Museam

2007-10-20T18:31:00.000-06:00

So, it's not exactly night I suppose, but here I sit, all alone, in the Utah Museum of Natural History. Yes, there are dinosaurs, but so far none have come to life. Maybe that would give a little excitement to the place. It's really not as spooky as I thought it would be. Every once in a while there's a creepy noise that the heater makes or something like that, but no worries at all. It's kind of nice to just have a few minutes to myself and not have to worry about anything. No one to bother me, no one needing me to unlock their car because they locked the keys inside. It just feels good to have a few minutes just to think and be alone.

Hijole

2007-10-02T16:04:00.000-06:00

Ay que cosas. La escuela me esta pateando en el trasero pero gacho. Soy perfeccionista entonces es muy dificil no tener buenes marcas. Recibi un zero esta semana y senti muy feo. Lo bueno es que creo que ya decidi lo que quiero hacer con mi vida. Despues de mucho meditar y pensar y batallar he decidido ser biologo y dejar la escuela de medicina atras. Se siente excelente no tener por que preocuparme en mis planes para la futura. Es una tranquilidad exquisita. Ahora me puedo enfocar en lo que realmente quiero, que es ayudar a proteger y entender y estudiar la naturaleza. Todo eso quiero hacer pasando todo el tiempo posible afuera en las montanas y el desierto y sencillamente con madre tierra. Como la amo a ella.

Estoy un poco preocupado por mi esposa. Dice que se siente mal todo el tiempo. Muy debil y cansada y con nauseas. Estoy en el proceso de meter mis papeles para la aseguranza pero se esta tardando por todas las cosas que se tienen que hacer. Solo quiero que este bien y feliz.

Bueno, ya no se que mas puedo decir entonces adelante a salvar al mundo.

Dorks!!!

2007-09-22T22:10:00.000-06:00

Aimee and I went to the movies at the Gateway and saw Sydney White. I freaking love Amanda Bynes and I'm not afraid to admit it.

However, I'm a bit confused about the parking situation at that there mall. Apparently if you spend $20 at Abercrombie you can park for free, but if you spend $20 dollars at the movie theater you have to pay for parking. After the movie we grabbed the little parking validation and headed for the door. When we got to the parking booth to leave, the lady told us it would be a dollar. This is a bit embarrassing perhaps, but we didn't have any cash. I mean no cash whatsoever. There was not a dollar to be found. Hmm. The lady made us sign a paper saying that we would either return within 5 days to pay the dollar or mail a check for $1 in within the same time period. That just seems a little ridiculous to me. I don't know, maybe it doesn't to some other people, but buying a shirt gets me free parking, but not a movie. How strange.

Target still sucks too. They won't take back a broken target brand dvd player that incidentally we had already returned twice before without any problems. It's Target brand. Could I possibly have gotten it anywhere else? Also strange.

On a lighter note, life is good. I always seem to be whining on here, but I don't mean to. I'm happy.

2007-09-09T20:35:00.000-06:00

Hmm...what to write.

Life is hard. Sometimes life is really hard. I don't know why. It doesn't seem fair, but everyone always told me that life isn't fair so what was I expecting? It's confusing. There's so many things pulling you in so many directions. At times it seems impossible. My problem, I think, is that I focus too much energy on the wrong things. They aren't bad things, per se, but I'm sure I could save some of that energy and focus it on more important things. Why do we sometimes feel depressed? Maybe not everyone does, but I do at times. There are days when I just feel useless and unimportant like I just simply don't belong.

I'm not very good in social settings. I say dumb things. I am shy. I try too hard. I really don't care what people think of me, but after certain awkward situations I almost always walk away thinking that I could have said or done something different. Will I ever do something the right way so I don't have to think about what I could have done better?

Once again beating a dead horse. Will I ever figure out what I was meant to do with my life? I don't seem to fit anywhere or be competent enough. Hmm. Is there something out that that really has my name stamped on it? Will I know it if I find it? Will it be my passion? I hope so. Introspect sucks.

Why I aughta...

2007-08-21T11:09:00.000-06:00

So, the University of Utah and I are fighting. I am trying to get a little financial aid in the way of student loans to pay for my lovely education, but apparently the U doesn't like that idea. During the summer I was at the financial aid office every couple of weeks trying to sort out all of the things that I would need to turn in. You would think that on the first or second visit they might mention something as important as a loan application, right? Wrong. This little bit of knowledge was not brought to my attention until finals week which is pretty much the deadline for turning it in. So I had to meet with a financial counselor to try and get the stupid application in.

Today I go back to see why nothing has gone through for my loans and they kindly inform me that I didn't get the stuff done in time. Well isn't that convenient. Keep in mind that I was planning on using this summer loan to pay for my fall semester because I had paid for the summer semester myself. I told the counselor these plans of mine and she pretty much told me I'm an idiot. I'M SORRY! Am I not supposed to assume that the financial aid people will do their job and make sure they have my stuff ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS IN THAT STUPID OFFICE EVERY TWO WEEKS FOR THREE MONTHS??? I didn't worry too much about trying to fill out all the crap for a fall loan because I figured that doing all that was in my power would be enough. Apparently not. So, now I have to scramble to figure out how I can come up with a couple thousand dollars in the next couple of weeks. Nice.

U of U, you and I are fighting! And yes, I am bovered.

Aloha!!!!!

2007-08-08T20:48:00.001-06:00

Yep, pulled off an A. I'm pretty happy about it. I could have done better, as always, but alas I'll just have to live with it.

Anyways, on to happier things. I am going to Hawaii in two days with my wife and all the in-laws and I just can't wait. I seriously love these people. Plus, I will be spending a week or so in paradise with my very favorite person with the beach and the beautifulness and all of that ness. I'm just excited. Also, Aimee's work thing seemed to work out nicely I suppose. I was getting really mad, and I mean livid over the whole thing. I'm glad it worked out.

The only bad thing about Hawaii is I start school two days after. Lame. Oh well, that seems like life lately. Maybe someday I'll be done.

2007-07-27T13:37:00.000-06:00

I think the worst feeling in the world is walking out of a test thinking you did well and as soon as you get out the door you realize that you did something terribly wrong.

Not fun.

Phew!!

2007-07-20T14:05:00.000-06:00

I made it through another test. Only two more and I am done with physics. It has been a busy summer Ill tell you that much, but it's nice to have it out of the way. A year's worth of physics classes done in 12 weeks. Can't really complain about that now can you? I actually feel okay about today's test which is something that hasn't happened for a couple of weeks. I'm glad it's the weekend and I can just relax. Tomorrow is Aimee's birthday. That should be a good time. I hope she likes her presents.

Anyways, just wanted to say a few words.

Keep on keepin' on.

Proud to be an American

2007-07-09T13:07:00.001-06:00

I don't think I have ever appreciated the 4th of July more than I did this year. I guess spending a couple of years in a country where most of the people don't have much good to say about the U.S. will make you realize how good you've really got it here. This year I went with the wife and a few friends to camp out for the Freedom Festival parade in good ol' Provo, Utah. Of course I didn't sleep much considering all of the obnoxious people around us and the simple fact that I was trying to sleep on the side of the road. But, there is something special about thousands of people coming together to celebrate one great thing: Freedom. I won't lie that I didn't almost ball like a baby when a few floats passed by. Namely one that was honoring the military, firefighters, and the police. It really is an incredible thing to think that we are so free. We can say what we want, we can believe what we want, we can choose what we want to make of our lives. Is there really anything better than that? So, to all of those out there that are constantly complaining about war and government and all of that crap, take a step back for one second and just think about how good you have it. Try living in a third world country where your voice doesn't mean crap, where money, drugs, and corruption are what rules. Yeah, I know, war isn't great and people aren't perfect (especially politicians) but seriously, that's life. People aren't perfect. Deal with it. Luckily for us, our government leaders are changed pretty regularly. If you don't like em, don't vote for em. You have your voice. Use it or just shut up.

Good Times, Good Times

2007-06-29T14:11:00.000-06:00

I feel like I have been absent to the blogging scene-like-forever. (It has been quite a while.) There are some new things going on in my little life though. I started working at a biochemistry research lab. It's pretty intense because I don't really know what's going on yet. I'm working with a Korean girl that doesn't speak English all that well so most of the time I am just really confused about what is going on. I hope I get it. It's really interesting stuff though. I'm loving it.

Today I had another physics test that kicked me straight in the brain. I did not do too great, that's for sure. Five more weeks and it's over though so I can't complain too much.

I'm really tired today because I didn't go to sleep until almost 2 a.m. because Aim and I randomly got to go to the Kenny Chesney concert last night. It was loads of fun. I tell you what, if you want to see some really funny people and maybe get a little self-esteem boost, go to a country music concert. Wow. In the words of the great Bill Engvall: "I saw people that could be their own dad." Good for a laugh at least, right?

It was because of Mat that we got to go. I seriously owe that man my life. The things he has done for me are just crazy. He got me my current job, took me to a concert, and is working on getting me another job. Seriously a good guy.

Well, I am done ranting for now. I have to get to work. Have a wonderful weekend and hopefully I'll be back real soon.

2007-06-18T12:20:00.000-06:00

Hmm....what to write? Physics is kicking my butt for one. The class average for the last test was somewhere around 50. I did slightly better than that so I feel alright about my grade, but holy moly that kind of crap is discouraging. That's life though, right?

Yesterday was a Man vs. Wild Father's day marathon. For those of you not familiar with Bear Grylls, he's pretty much the most amazing man on this here planet. I only got to see a few episodes, but I sure do love it. That guy can do everything!!!! Freaking incredible. When was the last time you got stuck in the French alps without any gear and jumped into a frozen lake just to show that you can? Ha. Love it.

That's why he is the man going against the wild.

Sorry bout that

2007-06-11T12:26:00.000-06:00

Wow! It's been a while since I've been on here. Sorry about that. I did have a really good weekend though. I got to spend lots of time with the love of my life (Aimee of course) which I really love to do. It wasn't anything too crazy. We did a little hiking with her family, a little grocery shopping, a little sleeping in. It was just...nice.

Hiking was great. We went up to donut falls. It's a nice easy hike with a neat waterfall at the top that falls through a hole in the rock. (hence the name donut falls) We climbed up to the falls getting really wet in the freezing water, but it was just awesome. The only thing that would have made it better is less people. I guess that's what happens though when you hike to a popular waterfall on a Saturday morning during the summer. We also had a little picnic as we watched a bike race in Sugarhouse park after the hike. All in all it was just a good day.

I can't think of anything else so I guess that's it.

Until next time...

Physics

2007-05-22T21:54:00.001-06:00

I don't know how those crazy scientists did it. How did Einstein understand the laws of the universe? How did Newton figure out his little laws of motion? (I especially like F=ma) My physics professor was talking about how Mozart started writing minuets at age 5. Wait a second, age 5? Is that possible. Most kids are worried about pooping at age 5 let alone writing music. Anyways, back to my professor. He was talking about how Mozart, like Einstein and Newton were born with this great understanding of music and science, respectively. So, this made me wonder. What was I born for? Do I have some hidden thing deep inside me somewhere just waiting to be discovered? or am I just a regular guy trying to make my way? I kinda wish for the first of the two. What is it though? When will I find it? No, I'm not talking about what I will do for a living for the rest of my life. I want to know if there is one thing that I just really understand naturally without much effort. I have always seen myself as a sort of Jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none kind of guy so it makes me wonder. Do I have the mental capacity to discover some fundamental law of physics or write an opera or develop some new medical procedure? I hope so, but it's hard to imagine. I guess it'll be a little bit difficult until I can at least get the basic scientific knowledge part under my belt right? I'm working on it don't worry.

Eequalsemceesquared.

She's Good

2007-05-14T20:50:00.000-06:00

I am pretty sure this year was my greatest birthday ever. I was planning on a nice quiet dinner with my folks. I actually was pretty excited about it. But.....what I got was so much better. I walked into my parents house oblivious to what was about to happen. I rounded the corner and received the typical "surprise!" of a surprise party. I looked into a room of all of the people that I care for the most. All of my best friends were there. It really was a fantastic feeling. It was an awesome night. I got to spend time with some fun people. I got amazing gifts that I totally didn't expect at all. Overall, it really was just a good day. Aimee, you did a really really good job with this one. I usually catch on to this kind of thing. I usually suspect something cause I hear or see something. But, I gotta give it to you, you're good. Thank you!

On a side note I put in my two weeks today at my job. It was scary and I was really nervous about it because they really have been good to me hear. It has been a fairly decent job. But, now that it's sent (even though I don't know if my bosses have seen it) I feel pretty calm about it. It'll be hard to leave the good money and some of the people, but I think it's for the better. I've gotta reach out and take a chance and be adventurous and all that, right? It'll work out.

On yet another note I started my physics class today. It's going to be intense, but I think I will certainly like it. I'm a nerd what can I say.

She's really good!

Nature is Great!

2007-05-09T21:17:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting at work in an office. On the East side of the office where I sit, there are huge windows that wrap around the entire side of the room. We're four stories up so we are taller than anything around. I have the most amazing view of the mountains. It is amazing the grandeur that they display. It makes me feel so small and insignificant. They are simply beautiful. I am amazed at not only the incredible Utah landscape, but how much people don't appreciate it. Why in the world are the blinds closed when I get here everyday? Why in the crap do people stand up and shut the blinds for no apparent reason in the middle of the afternoon when the view is at its best? Why? Because I work with a bunch of ungrateful, pessimistic, ignorant people. I hate my job, but why do they have to take this one joy that I get out of working here away from me? Those mountains are the only happiness I can find in this little office. I often dream of finding some new trail while I am sitting at my desk pecking at my keyboard. I am convinced that they shut those blinds just to spite me. Boo.

Admiring the greatness of those Wasatch mountains puts me into Captain Planet mode. Landscapes such as this one deserve honor and respect but all we do is tear it down in a scrambled effort to make as much profit as possible. I am just one small being in this immense planet. Can one person really make a difference? Does it matter if I throw my candy wrapper on the ground, or don't pick up that piece of trash as I walk by? It may not seem like much looking at the whole, but it helps. It may just be small gesture, but it helps. Every single little effort helps. Will I single-handedly save the planet? Perhaps no. But I can certainly tell you I will feel good about doing what I could to keep it beautiful a little while longer.

My ignorant co-workers may not see it, but this earth truly is an amazingly beautiful place. Our job is to keep it that way.

FREEEE!!!!

2007-05-03T21:36:00.000-06:00

It feels great to finally be done with this semester. Mostly it was enjoyable but there were a few moments here and there that were nigh unbearable. But, I'm officially done. My last final was today and it seriously is a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm sure all of you college-going folk know exactly what I'm talking about.

And tomorrow we're headin' to Boise, Id. to visit the in-laws and see one of the most amazing things ever-the baptism of an eight-year-old child. I seriously can't wait.

So, see you all in a few day. I'm out.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

2007-04-30T15:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we went to my parents house to celebrate the Smith-family birthday. It's like Christmas twice a year and it's great. And, best of all, I got the greatest present ever. Yep, you know I got an ant farm. Probably the coolest toy ever invented. And you better believe that I am way to impatient to wait for the ants to come in the mail so I sure did go catch a bunch on the sidewalk in the front yard. My wife thinks I'm crazy. I don't blame her. The only little problem is the ants I caught are really little and I think this particular ant farm was built for slightly larger ants so the ones I have can escape through the air holes in the top. Better find a way to fix that, huh.

And today I had my history final!!! I never have to go back to that class again and there's not much that makes me happier than that. (Although, the ant farm comes pretty close.) One final exam down and just two more to go. I can't wait for this week to be over and things will settle down for a minute.

Ahh. Sigh of relief.

I'm Ornery

2007-04-27T19:49:00.000-06:00

Today isn't very fun. It's one of those days that everything (and everyone) just irritates me. I don't know why. I don't enjoy it either. But, here I am at a fabulous job (sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm) just wanting to go home. I also have a thousand things to memorize before Monday and I just can't seem to get it. Today is a feel bad for myself day. Deal with it.

Holy Moly Oley

2007-04-19T14:26:00.000-06:00

Wow!!! Today is just one of those strangely good days. I was driving to work today, which I usually dread and despise, and just had an interesting moment. I couldn't help thinking how fabulous my life is. This is pretty weird considering I have felt totally overwhelmed with everything that is going on.

Oh, don't worry. I'm still stressed to the gills, but overall I've got it pretty good. Of course I still hate my job, I still worry about finals in a week or so and I just plain hate having to worry about money, but it really could be so much worse. I was thinking back to my mission days in the scorching deserts (desserts? I don't know, I always get them mixed up) of Mexico. I saw so much poverty and suffering that it's unreal. Almost no one had a car and I have a great one, two even. I have a real floor in my house. Some of them only made 5 pesos a day. That's less than 5 dollars. Wow. They deal with unclean water, corrupt police and government, sanitation problems, putting bars on their windows so they don't get robbed in the middle of the day, and wondering if their children will ever make it through elementary school before dropping out.

What do I really worry about. I guess my only worry is keeping my wife safe and happy and paying rent and tuition. Its not so bad. As a student I make 20 times more money than they do in a day, I can drink water out of the faucet without worrying about getting a disease, the police work to keep me safe instead of exploiting me, I have never been robbed, and most everyone realizes the importance of education. I really do have it good. Excellent even.

Even if I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up or if I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to pay for school, I know that I have it way better than 90% of the people in this world. What do I really have to complain about? Yeah, I have trials, as does everyone else in the world. But, looking at the situation in other parts of this beautiful planet, mine seem pretty minuscule and petty.

My family is great, I'm healthy, I have the greatest wife in the universe, and I'm just plain happy. What am I complaining about?

I have no idea really.

How do you people do it?

2007-04-16T19:41:00.000-06:00

I got back from my backpacking trip yesterday. It was fabulous. Three days of drinking water with dead insects floating in it that I scooped from a stagnant pool in the middle of the desert. Watching my teacher, who has the biggest belly ever, almost eat it when he trips on a rock. Meeting some of the coolest people I think I have ever known and loving every single second of it.

Except...

I had too much time to think. When that happens, my life goes down the crapper in my head. Of course I think about it all the time, but when I slow down for a minute it goes crazy. Since I got home from my mission I have had this struggle in my mind of what it is that I love and want to do for the rest of my life. Of course getting married was number one on the list and I couldn't have gotten a better girl. Why? Because she's just simply the best. But then there's the question of my means of earning a living for like the next 50 years. First, I wanted to be a doctor, then a pilot, then a doctor again, then a research biologist, then a professor, then a high school teacher, then a park ranger, then be on search and rescue, etc. etc. etc. I have even considered being a cop and even just a bum on the street (I'm pretty sure Aimee wouldn't like that).

The question is then, is how do you people know what your passion is? How are you so dedicated to one thing? Don't you think you might get bored after 30 years of the same thing? That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to pick one thing cause I'm scared of not liking it later. It all just makes me want to cry. How do you know when it's just the right thing?

Hmmm...back to just thinking and changing my mind every minute until I figure it out I guess.

Lack thereof...

2007-04-11T21:36:00.000-06:00

Holy moly. I am so unmotivated right now. (is that even a word? it sounds funny) I have this five page paper that I'm trying to write but for some reason I just don't want to. I guess that part of it is that I really don't care for the class. I'm trying to do a good job because I'm anal about getting good grades, but at the same time I just can't seem to please my professor. Uhg. I like my math and my chemistry class but there's something about history and government that just rubs me the wrong way. It's just a pain in the tuckus.

On a good note, I have my backpacking trip in two days and I can't wait. I love to just be away. Just me and mother nature having a chat. There's something about it that's just relaxing and mind-clearing. I still have to go grocery shopping to make sure I don't starve, but I'm excited.

Just a moment to vent some frustration.

Surprise!!!

2007-04-09T19:27:00.000-06:00

Well, today was a pretty decent day as far as school goes. History was boring as can be expected. I fought hard to keep my eyes open and my mind focused. Math was surprisingly good. I understood it so that's a plus. Then I had my chemistry midterm that I absolutely have to do well on because it determines the score I get on the test I missed for the honeymoon. I feel pretty good about it, but I try not to get my hopes up too much. Whenever I seem to be really excited about a test I just took it seems something goes crazy wrong and I do terribly. The only thing to do is wait and see, right?

As I left school feeling pretty good about the day. I was excited to just not worry about school for the rest of the day. Then it hit me that tomorrow is Tuesday. Lame. I have two lab reports due tomorrow that I haven't even looked at since last week. Then I remembered good news again. I remembered that I don't have to turn in my math lab report tomorrow. Halelujah.

So, I started in on my chemistry lab. After nearly 3 hours of trying to figure out how to make a graph on Excel (I've never used it before) I came out triumphant. A beautiful creation of lines and dots. Still not done with the report, though. I'll do it when I get home cause I just don't feel like it right now.

And that was my day.

Eastre

2007-04-07T14:18:00.000-06:00

Good Friday. Kind of an ironic term don't you think? Why would you call that good? Maybe because it was the single most important, and darkest, day of history...ever. The one and only single act of charity was displayed throughout a horrendous display of cruelty.

Good Friday. A day filled with irony. A betrayal by a kiss, the greatest sign of loyalty and commitment. Every detail of an unjust capture, trial, conviction, and sentence was against the very law that the persecutors were "protecting." Suffering not once, but twice for being absolutely perfect. And ultimately: Death, by a most excruciating means.

Then another day: Holy Saturday. Today. A day spent in a tomb.

Sunday. Easter. A release of pain and death.

One question: Why? One answer: For me.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.-- Joseph B. Wirthlin.

There has never been a more glorious day!

Easter!

Eastre!

Day One

2007-04-05T15:10:00.000-06:00

It's almost the end of the semester and I think I'm near a nervous breakdown. With all of the papers to write and tests to study for and homework to turn in I'm rapidly descending to the point of not giving a rats behind about it all anymore. But, despite all the busyness things are grand, I really have never been happier. Life is good.

Married life is great. It has been one month and three days now and I have truly enjoyed every minute. The missus and I don't see each other much due to school and work and what not, but its nice to have someone to come home to. I just wish there was more time in the day.

One thing I'm certainly looking forward to is my backpacking trip next weekend. It'll be a nice little escape from the world. Unfortunately it's a school trip so it wont be as fun, but it's something, right? The bad part about it is that I had to get work off and in order to do so I have to work on Easter Sunday. Crap! Easter dinner will have to wait a few hours.

And of course I am trying to save the world. At the moment my bandwagon of choice is ninemillion.org. Jump on!